कलत्रचिन्ताहतया धिया सन्दह्यमानया । दृष्टाः कष्टसमारम्भा दिशः प्रज्वलिता इव
Struck by anxiety for my wife, my mind burning within, I saw all directions as if ablaze, filled with painful undertakings.
क्षौमानेकसमाक्षीणपटखण्डकधारिणा । काष्ठभारो वने व्यूढो यो मूर्तम् इव दुष्कृतम्
Wearing a garment patched with many pieces of linen, carrying a load of wood in the forest, he appeared as if the embodiment of misfortune.
यौककीर्णजरक्लिन्नगन्धिकौपीनवाससा । आढ्यास्पदवलीकानां तले नीता घनागमाः
Clad in a loincloth, damp and foul-smelling from old age and filth, he was led beneath the homes of the wealthy, where dense clouds gathered.
कलत्रापूरणोत्केन जर्जरेण हिमानिलैः । हेमन्ते दुर्दुरेणेव निलीनं वनकुक्षिषु
With his wife, worn out and shivering in the cold winds of winter, he was hidden in the depths of the forest, as if in a desolate place.
नानाकलहकल्लोलतापप्रसरविद्रुताः । बाष्पव्याजेन निर्मुक्ता नेत्राभ्यां रक्तबिन्दवः
Driven by the tumult of various quarrels and the heat of discord, drops of blood were released from his eyes under the guise of tears.
यामिन्यो विपिने क्लिन्नवराहामिषभोजिना । शिलातलकुटीकोणे नीता जलदविप्लुताः
The women, soaked and eating the meat of wild boar in the forest, were taken to the corners of huts on stone floors, overwhelmed by the rain clouds.
काले क्षयं गते स्नेहे कलत्रे ऽघनतां गते । असौहार्देन बन्धूनां कलहैश् चातिसन्ततैः
When affection faded with time and the wife became unresponsive, due to the lack of friendliness among relatives and the constant quarrels,
सर्वत्र जातशङ्केन कुलीलामुखरार्भके । मया कृपणचित्तेन नीताः परगृहे समाः
With suspicion everywhere, and children chattering like young birds, I, with a miserable heart, spent years in the homes of others.
चण्डालीकलहोद्विग्नचण्डचण्डालतर्जनैः । मुखं जर्जरतां यातम् इन्दू राहुरदैर् इव
Disturbed by the quarrels of outcasts and their fierce rebukes, my face became worn and battered, like the moon scarred by Rahu's jaws.
चर्विताः खर्वितोष्ठेन द्वीपीपिशितपेशयः । नरकाहृतविक्रीता नारक्यो रसना इव
Chewed with a crushed lip, the shreds of leopard flesh—like tongues of hell-dwellers, bought and consumed in hell.
हिमवत्कन्दरोद्गीर्णाश् चण्डा हेमन्तवायवः । अङ्गे निरम्बरे सोढा मृत्युमुक्ता इवेषवः
Fierce winter winds, expelled from the caves of the Himalayas, endured on the bare body—like arrows freed from death.
जरज्जरढमूढेन मूलानि क्षीणभूरुहाम् । सुकृतानाम् इवैकेन समुत्खातानि भूरिशः
By a decrepit, feeble-minded old man, the roots of withered trees are repeatedly dug up—like the merits of the virtuous, extracted one by one.
शरावकेष्व् अटव्यां च पललं पक्वम् आदरात् । अमृष्टेन जनैर् भुक्तं कुकलत्रवता मया
In the forest, in small bowls, I have eagerly eaten cooked mud, consumed unwashed by people, as if with a wicked wife.
ग्रहीतृतेजःक्षतये बहुवक्त्रविकारिणा । भागधेयम् इवात्मीयं विक्रीतं पण्यम् अन्यतः
For the exhaustion of the eater's strength, my own share—like a personal fortune—has been sold elsewhere by one with many mouths and distorted features.
प्राण्यङ्गवपुषस् स्वस्य प्रोत्कृत्योत्कृत्य पेशयः । आयुषः परि विक्रीता विन्ध्यपक्कणभूमिषु
The flesh of my own living body, cut and cut again, has been sold for a price in the lands of the Vindhya outcasts, as if it were my very lifespan.
जन्मान्तरसहस्रोत्थं स्वं पापम् इव वृद्धये । अवकीर्णं च सङ्कीर्णं मण्डलारामभूमिषु
Like my own sin, accumulated over thousands of births for its increase, it is scattered and mixed in the pleasure-gardens and parks.
दृष्टं कुद्दालकं दृष्ट्या ऋज्व्या स्नेहसमुत्कया । रौरवापतितेनेव तत्काकस् स्निग्धतां गतः
I saw the spade with a direct, affectionate gaze; like one fallen into Raurava hell, that crow became filled with tenderness.
विन्ध्यकन्दरगुल्मानां बन्धुत्वम् इव गच्छता । पुलिन्दवपुषा पत्त्रपङ्क्तयो ऽङ्गे समर्पिताः
As he wandered among the thickets and bushes of the Vindhya forest, rows of leaves were placed upon his body, as if forming kinship with the wild tribes.
तर्पिता लगुडास्फालजितकौलेयरंहसा । पुत्रदाराः कदन्नेन ग्राम्यकाद् याचितेन च
His wife and children were satisfied with coarse food, begged from villagers or obtained by the force of his staff, as he subdued the strong.
धारासाररणत्पत्त्रशुष्कतालतले निशाः । नीता रणितदन्तेन सार्धं विपिनवानरैः
Nights were spent on dry palm leaves, echoing with the cries of wild animals, together with the forest monkeys, while his teeth chattered in the cold.
रोमभिः कोटिषु प्रोच्चैश् शीतेनोद्धृषितस्य मे । वर्षासु मुक्ताकणवद् धृतास् सलिलबिन्दवः
On my body, bristling with hair in the intense cold of the rainy season, drops of water clung like strings of pearls.
अजाजिमूलखण्डार्थं क्षुत्क्षोभक्षीणकुक्षिणा । कलत्रेण महाटव्यां कृतः कलह आकुलः
In the great forest, there was a tumultuous quarrel with my wife, whose stomach was shrunken by hunger, over a piece of ginger or ajwain root.
वने रणितदन्तेन शीतकेकरचक्षुषा । मषीमलिनगात्रेण वेतालस्वजनायितम्
In the forest, with teeth chattering, eyes wide from the cold, and limbs stained with soot, I appeared like a goblin to my own kin.
सरित्तीरेषु मत्स्यार्थं भ्रान्तं बडिशधारिणा । कल्पे जगत्सु भूतार्थं कृतान्तेनेव पाशिना
On riverbanks, I wandered with a fishing hook in search of fish, like Death himself, holding a noose, roams the worlds seeking living beings.
पीतं बहूपवासेन सम्यक्कृत्तान् मृगोरसः । तत्कालकोष्णं रुधिरं मातुस् स्तनपयो यथा
After many fasts, I drank the freshly drawn, warm blood of a slain animal, just as an infant drinks its mother’s milk.
श्मशानसंस्थितान् मत्तो रक्तरक्तात् पलाशिनः । विद्रुता वनवेतालाश् चण्डिकाभिद्रुता इव
Those intoxicated, blood-stained, and covered in palāś leaves, dwelling in cremation grounds, fled like forest ghouls driven by the fierce goddess.
वागुरा विपिने व्युप्ता बन्धार्थं मृगपक्षिणाम् । आशा इव विवृद्ध्यर्थं पुत्रदारकलत्रजाः
A net is spread in the forest to capture beasts and birds, just as hope is extended for growth through children, wives, and family.
मया मायामयैर् लोकास् सूत्रजालमयैः खगाः । जालैर् जर्जरतां नीता दिशश् च सुकृतायुषाम्
By me, worlds made of illusion, birds woven of threads, and nets have been brought to ruin, as have the directions of those with virtuous lives.
तत्रातिदत्तप्रसरे मनसो दुष्कृतोदये । आशा प्रसारिता दूरं प्रावृषीव तरङ्गिणी
There, with the mind rushing excessively toward evil deeds, hope is stretched far, like a river swelling in the rainy season.
करभ्या इव सर्पेण विद्रुतं दूरतो ह्रिया । दूरे त्यक्ता दया देहाद् भुजङ्गेनेव कञ्चुकम्
Just as a snake quickly sheds its skin from its limbs, so compassion is cast far from the body, abandoned in shame.