एवं दुःखशताविष्टा युधिष्ठिरनिमित्ततः ।। 122
Thus, overwhelmed by hundreds of sorrows because of Yudhishthira.
पुनः प्रतिविशिष्टानि दुःखानि शृणु भारत। वर्धन्ते मयि कौन्तेय वक्ष्याम्यन्यानि तानि वै ।। 123
Hear again, O Bharata, of further sorrows that afflict me. O Kaunteya, I will tell you of other pains that grow within me.
युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु दुःखानि विविधान्युत। शोषयन्ति शरीरं मे किंनु दुःखतरं ततः ।। 124
While you are preserved, various sorrows dry up my body. What could be more painful than this?
एकभर्ता तु या नारी सा सुखेनैव वर्तते। पञ्च मे पतयः सन्ति मम दुःखमनन्तकम् ।। 125
A woman with one husband lives in happiness, but I have five husbands—my suffering is endless.
अहं सैरन्ध्रिवेषेण वसन्ती राजवेश्मनि। वशगाऽस्मि सुदेष्णाया अक्षधूर्तस्य कारणात् ।। 1
I dwell in the royal palace, disguised as Sairandhri, subject to Sudeshna because of the gambler.
विक्रियां पश्य मे तीव्रां राजपुत्र्याः परन्तप। आसे कालमुपासीना सर्वदुःखसहा पुनः ।। 2
See my intense distress, O scorcher of foes. I sit waiting for time to pass, enduring all sorrows again.
अनित्याः खलु मर्त्यानामर्थाश्च व्यसनानि च। इति मत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ।। 3
Indeed, the fortunes and misfortunes of mortals are impermanent; thinking thus, I await the rise of my lords once more.
चक्रवत्परिवर्तन्ते ह्यर्थाश्च व्यसनानि च । इति कृत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ।। 4
For, like a wheel, fortunes and misfortunes revolve; considering this, I wait for the return of my lords’ prosperity.
य एव हेतुर्भवति पुरुषस्य जयावहः। पराजये च हेतुः स इति च प्रतिपालये ।। 5
That very cause which brings a man victory also brings him defeat; this I carefully observe.
दत्त्वा याचन्ति पुरुषा हत्वा हन्यन्त एव ते। पातयित्वा च पात्यन्ते परैरिति च मे श्रुतम् ।। 6
Men beg after giving, and after killing, they themselves are slain; having brought others down, they too are brought down by others—so I have heard.
न दैवस्यातिभारोस्ति न चैवास्यातिवर्तनम्। इति चाप्यागमं भूयो दैवस्य प्रतिपालये ।। 7
There is no burden too great for fate, nor can anyone surpass it; thus, I again reflect on the authority of destiny.
स्थितं पूर्वं जलं यत्र न पुनस्तत्र तिष्ठति । इति पर्यायमिच्छन्ति प्रतीक्षाम्युदयं पुनः ।। 8
Water that once stood in a place does not remain there again; so, by turns, things change—I wait for prosperity to return.
दैवेन किल यस्यार्थः सुनीतोपि विपद्यते। सदा दैवागमे यत्नस्तेन कार्यो विजानता ।। 9
Indeed, by fate, even well-guided endeavors fail; therefore, one who understands should always act with effort, mindful of fate.
किंनु मे वचनस्याद्य कथितस्य प्रयोजनम् । पृच्छ मां दुःखितामेनामपृष्टाऽपि ब्रवीमि ते ।। 10
What use is there now in my words, in what I have said? Ask me, though I am afflicted with sorrow—I will speak to you even unasked.
महिषी पाण्डुपुत्राणां दुहिता द्रुपदस्य च । इमामवस्थां संप्राप्ता मदन्या का जिजीविषेत् ।। 11
I am the chief queen of the sons of Pandu, and daughter of Drupada; who else but I, having reached this state, would wish to live?
कुरून्परिहरन्सर्वान्पाञ्चालानपि भारत। पाण्डवेयांश्च संप्राप्तो मम शोको ह्यरिन्दम ।। 12
Having lost all the Kurus, and even the Panchalas, O Bharata, and the sons of Pandu as well, grief has come upon me, O subduer of foes.
भ्रातृभिः श्वशुरैः पुत्रैर्बहुभिः परिवारिता। एवं समुदिता नारी कान्वेयं दुःखभागिनी ।। 13
Surrounded by brothers, fathers-in-law, and sons, by many, such a woman, though so supported, has become a sharer in sorrow, O descendant of Kanva.
नूनं बालतया धातुर्मया वै विप्रियं कृतम्। तस्य प्रभावाद्दुर्नीतं प्राप्ताऽस्मि भरतर्षभ ।। 14
Surely, through childishness, I have done something displeasing to the Creator; by his power, I have come to this misfortune, O bull among the Bharatas.
वर्णं विकारमपि मे पश्य पाण्डव यादृशम् । ईदृशो मे न तत्रासीद्दुःखे परमके पुरा ।। 15
See, O Pandava, even the change in my complexion; such suffering as this was never mine before, even in the greatest distress.
त्वमेव भीम जानीषे यन्मे पार्थ सुखं पुरा। साऽहं दासीत्वमापन्ना न शान्तिं मनसा लभे।। 16
You alone, Bhima, know the happiness I once had, O Partha; now I have fallen into servitude and find no peace in my mind.
तद्दैविकमिदं मन्ये यत्र पार्थो धनञ्जयः। भीमधन्वा महारङ्गे चास्ते शान्त इवानलः ।। 17
I consider this to be the work of fate, where Dhananjaya the Partha and Bhima of mighty arms sit in the great hall, subdued like fire at rest.
अशक्या वेदितुं पार्थ प्राणिनां वै गतिर्नरैः । विनिपातमिमं पश्य युष्माकमविचिन्तितम् ।। 18
The course of living beings cannot be known by men, O Partha; see this unexpected downfall that has come upon you.
यस्या मम मुखप्रेक्षा यूयमिन्द्रसमाः सदा। सा प्रेक्ष्य मुखमन्यासामवराणां वरा सती ।। 19
She whose face you, always equal to Indra, used to behold—she, being the foremost among women, now looks upon the faces of others.
पश्य पाण्डव मेऽवस्थां यथा नार्हामि वै तथा । युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु पाञ्चालेषु च मानद ।। 20
See, O Pandava, my condition—how unworthy it is for me, while you and the Panchalas, O bestower of honor, are still alive.
यस्याः सागरपर्यन्ता पृथिवी वशवर्तिनी। आसीत्साऽद्य सुदेष्णायाः पाञ्चाली वशवर्तिनी ।। 21
She for whom this earth, bounded by the ocean, was once obedient—today, Draupadī is subject to Sudeṣṇā.
यस्याः पुरश्चरा ह्यासन्पृष्ठतश्चानुगामिनः। साहमद्य सुदेष्णायाः पुरः पश्चाच्च गामिनी ।। 22
She who was once preceded and followed by attendants—today, I walk before and behind Sudeṣṇā.
इदं तु दुःखं कौन्तेय ममासह्यं निबोध तत्। या न जातु स्वयं पिंषे गात्रोद्वर्तनमात्मनः । अन्यत्र कुन्त्या भद्रं ते सा पिनष्म्यद्य चन्दनं ।। 23
Hear, son of Kuntī, this unbearable sorrow of mine: I, who never ground sandalwood for myself except for Kuntī—today, for Sudeṣṇā, I grind the sandalwood.
पश्य कौन्तेय पाणी मे नैवं वै भवतः पुरा। इत्यस्मै दर्शयामास किणवन्तौ करावुभौ ।। 24
See, son of Kuntī, my hands are not as they once were; thus she showed him both her hands, marked with calluses.
बिभेमि कुन्त्या या नाऽहं युष्माकं वा कदाचन। साऽद्याग्रतो विराटस्य भीता तिष्ठामि किंकरी ।। 25
I, who never feared Kuntī or any of you, now stand before Virāṭa, afraid, as a servant.
किंनु वक्ष्यति सम्राण्मां वर्णकः सुकृतो न वा। नान्यपिष्टं विराटस्य चन्दनं किल रोचते ।। 26
What will the king’s painter say of me, whether skilled or not? No other sandalwood pleases Virāṭa, it seems.