किंनु मां मन्यसे पार्थ सुखितेति परन्तप। तथा दृष्ट्वा यवीयांसं सहदेवं युधांपतिम् ।। 112
O Partha, scorcher of foes, do you think I am happy? Seeing Sahadeva, the younger lord of warriors, thus, how could I be?
तं दृष्ट्वा गोषु गोसङ्ख्यं वत्सचर्मक्षितीशयम्। दुःखशोकपरीताङ्गी पाण्डुभूताऽस्मि पाण्डव ।। 113
Seeing him among the cattle, counting the cows, seated on a calf's hide, my body is overcome with sorrow and pain, O Pandava—I am pale as a Pandava.
सहदेवस्य वृत्तानि चिन्तयन्ती पुनःपुनः । न पश्यामि महाभाग सहदेवस्य दुःष्कृतम्। यस्मादेवंविधं क्लेशं प्राप्नुयात्सत्यविक्रमः ।। 114
Thinking again and again of Sahadeva's condition, O illustrious one, I see no fault in Sahadeva, for what reason should a man of truth and valor suffer such hardship?
दूयामि भरतश्रेष्ठ दृष्ट्वा ते भ्रातरं प्रियम्। गोषु गोवृषसंकाशं मात्स्येनापि निवेशितम् ।। 115
O best of Bharatas, I am distressed seeing your beloved brother among the cows, resembling a bull, placed there by Matsya.
संरब्धतररक्ताक्षं गोपालानां पुरोगमम्। विराटमभिनन्दन्तं वित्ते मे भवति ज्वरः ।। 116
When I see him, leader of the cowherds, with eyes reddened in anger, honored by Virata, fever arises in my heart.
सहदेवं हि मे नित्यं वीरमार्या प्रशंसति। महाभिजनसंपन्नो नीतिमान्कुलवानपि ।। 117
Arya always praises Sahadeva to me as a hero, noble-born, wise, and of good lineage.
हीनिषेवो ह्यनवमो धार्मिकश्च प्रियश्च मे। स तेऽरण्येषु वोढव्यः पाञ्चालि रजनीष्वपि ।। 118
He is of humble service, without pride, righteous and dear to me. You must bear him, O Panchali, even in the forests and through the nights.
सुकुमारश्च शूरश्च राजानं चाप्यनुव्रतः। ज्येष्ठापचायिनं वीरं स्वयं पाञ्चालि भोजयेः ।। 119
Gentle and brave, devoted to the king, he honors his elder brother. O Panchali, you yourself should serve this hero.
इत्युवाच हि मां कुन्ती रुदती पुत्रगृद्धिनी। प्रव्रजन्तं महारण्यं तं परिष्वज्य तिष्ठती ।। 120
Thus, Kunti, weeping and longing for her son, spoke to me, embracing him as he stood ready to depart for the great forest.
तं दृष्ट्वा गोषु गोपालवेषमास्थाय धिष्ठितम्। सहदेवं युधांश्रेष्ठं किंनु जीवामि पाण्डवः ।। 121
Seeing Sahadeva, the foremost of warriors, standing among the cows, dressed as a cowherd, O Pandava, how do I continue to live?
एवं दुःखशताविष्टा युधिष्ठिरनिमित्ततः ।। 122
Thus, overwhelmed by hundreds of sorrows because of Yudhishthira.
पुनः प्रतिविशिष्टानि दुःखानि शृणु भारत। वर्धन्ते मयि कौन्तेय वक्ष्याम्यन्यानि तानि वै ।। 123
Hear again, O Bharata, of further sorrows that afflict me. O Kaunteya, I will tell you of other pains that grow within me.
युष्मासु ध्रियमाणेषु दुःखानि विविधान्युत। शोषयन्ति शरीरं मे किंनु दुःखतरं ततः ।। 124
While you are preserved, various sorrows dry up my body. What could be more painful than this?
एकभर्ता तु या नारी सा सुखेनैव वर्तते। पञ्च मे पतयः सन्ति मम दुःखमनन्तकम् ।। 125
A woman with one husband lives in happiness, but I have five husbands—my suffering is endless.
अहं सैरन्ध्रिवेषेण वसन्ती राजवेश्मनि। वशगाऽस्मि सुदेष्णाया अक्षधूर्तस्य कारणात् ।। 1
I dwell in the royal palace, disguised as Sairandhri, subject to Sudeshna because of the gambler.
विक्रियां पश्य मे तीव्रां राजपुत्र्याः परन्तप। आसे कालमुपासीना सर्वदुःखसहा पुनः ।। 2
See my intense distress, O scorcher of foes. I sit waiting for time to pass, enduring all sorrows again.
अनित्याः खलु मर्त्यानामर्थाश्च व्यसनानि च। इति मत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ।। 3
Indeed, the fortunes and misfortunes of mortals are impermanent; thinking thus, I await the rise of my lords once more.
चक्रवत्परिवर्तन्ते ह्यर्थाश्च व्यसनानि च । इति कृत्वा प्रतीक्षामि भर्तॄणामुदयं पुनः ।। 4
For, like a wheel, fortunes and misfortunes revolve; considering this, I wait for the return of my lords’ prosperity.
य एव हेतुर्भवति पुरुषस्य जयावहः। पराजये च हेतुः स इति च प्रतिपालये ।। 5
That very cause which brings a man victory also brings him defeat; this I carefully observe.
दत्त्वा याचन्ति पुरुषा हत्वा हन्यन्त एव ते। पातयित्वा च पात्यन्ते परैरिति च मे श्रुतम् ।। 6
Men beg after giving, and after killing, they themselves are slain; having brought others down, they too are brought down by others—so I have heard.
न दैवस्यातिभारोस्ति न चैवास्यातिवर्तनम्। इति चाप्यागमं भूयो दैवस्य प्रतिपालये ।। 7
There is no burden too great for fate, nor can anyone surpass it; thus, I again reflect on the authority of destiny.
स्थितं पूर्वं जलं यत्र न पुनस्तत्र तिष्ठति । इति पर्यायमिच्छन्ति प्रतीक्षाम्युदयं पुनः ।। 8
Water that once stood in a place does not remain there again; so, by turns, things change—I wait for prosperity to return.
दैवेन किल यस्यार्थः सुनीतोपि विपद्यते। सदा दैवागमे यत्नस्तेन कार्यो विजानता ।। 9
Indeed, by fate, even well-guided endeavors fail; therefore, one who understands should always act with effort, mindful of fate.
किंनु मे वचनस्याद्य कथितस्य प्रयोजनम् । पृच्छ मां दुःखितामेनामपृष्टाऽपि ब्रवीमि ते ।। 10
What use is there now in my words, in what I have said? Ask me, though I am afflicted with sorrow—I will speak to you even unasked.
महिषी पाण्डुपुत्राणां दुहिता द्रुपदस्य च । इमामवस्थां संप्राप्ता मदन्या का जिजीविषेत् ।। 11
I am the chief queen of the sons of Pandu, and daughter of Drupada; who else but I, having reached this state, would wish to live?
कुरून्परिहरन्सर्वान्पाञ्चालानपि भारत। पाण्डवेयांश्च संप्राप्तो मम शोको ह्यरिन्दम ।। 12
Having lost all the Kurus, and even the Panchalas, O Bharata, and the sons of Pandu as well, grief has come upon me, O subduer of foes.
भ्रातृभिः श्वशुरैः पुत्रैर्बहुभिः परिवारिता। एवं समुदिता नारी कान्वेयं दुःखभागिनी ।। 13
Surrounded by brothers, fathers-in-law, and sons, by many, such a woman, though so supported, has become a sharer in sorrow, O descendant of Kanva.
नूनं बालतया धातुर्मया वै विप्रियं कृतम्। तस्य प्रभावाद्दुर्नीतं प्राप्ताऽस्मि भरतर्षभ ।। 14
Surely, through childishness, I have done something displeasing to the Creator; by his power, I have come to this misfortune, O bull among the Bharatas.
वर्णं विकारमपि मे पश्य पाण्डव यादृशम् । ईदृशो मे न तत्रासीद्दुःखे परमके पुरा ।। 15
See, O Pandava, even the change in my complexion; such suffering as this was never mine before, even in the greatest distress.
त्वमेव भीम जानीषे यन्मे पार्थ सुखं पुरा। साऽहं दासीत्वमापन्ना न शान्तिं मनसा लभे।। 16
You alone, Bhima, know the happiness I once had, O Partha; now I have fallen into servitude and find no peace in my mind.